So Jordan has opened his bloody mouth yet again about us, this time calling us imbeciles. This guy is seriously gonna get his jaw broken one day:

Being a stiff in a suit just isn't me

Crystal Palace owner Simon Jordan - in the second of his new Observer columns - believes fans in the boardroom are true 'football people'

Sunday August 21, 2005
The Observer

A couple of weeks ago I was asked about the reception Charlton fans gave Palace when they drew with us on the final day of last season, a result that relegated us. I said their fans - who revelled in it, abused us and even did the bloody conga - had behaved like morons. It was an 'astounding' comment for 'a chairman of an ex-Premiership club', said a spokesman for their fans group, who demanded an apology and added - really perceptively, I thought - 'there were 24,000-odd Charlton supporters at The Valley that day, including myself. That's an awful lot of morons.'

In retrospect, of course I regret calling them morons. Imbeciles would have been more appropriate. Quite apart from the fact that we gave Charlton a home in the 1980s when they were bust, I was objecting to the way they - and their chairman - celebrated the draw as if they'd won the Champions League. Rivalry is great, it's healthy, but this went beyond all that - they were like walking tabloids: lapping up misery and knocking people down. They lost their tiny minds, and they want me to apologise to them?

The way it works in football is this: things you can say as a fan, as a player, as a journalist, you can't say if you're the chairman. If you speak your mind as a chairman, you're 'astounding'. Ask any neutral who was at Charlton that day and they'd share my view - but as a club owner I'm supposed to sugar-coat my response or, better still, say nothing? This isn't international diplomacy, it's football.

I'm even attacked when I'm trying to be upbeat. I was asked about my hopes for the season last week, so I said I thought Palace had the best manager in the division, some of the best players and that we could win the title. The pundits beat me round the head for being optimistic. John Fashanu - remember him? - turned up in the papers saying I should shut my mouth and that I'm putting too much pressure on my manager and my team by urging success from them. He then accused me of not being 'a football person'. Because I wasn't a 'football person' I should keep quiet.

So what exactly is one of these 'football people'? Is it someone like Fashanu - one of the most disingenuous, superficial people I've ever come across, who, the only time we met, tried to borrow money from me to invest in a business backed by Ambrose Mendy, the convicted fraudster? Is it just players and ex-players who are 'football people' - often cheating, diving, spitting, conniving people who couldn't care less about their clubs or being role models? Is it agents, sucking money out of the game? Is it managers and ex-managers who take bungs and cut dodgy deals? Are they all 'football people'? If so, absolutely right, I'm not even close.

The first game I went to was Palace at home to Carlisle in 1973 - we lost 1-0. I was born 100 yards from the ground, and my father - who played for Palace in the 1950s - still lives there. I signed schoolboy forms for them, and I've supported the club ever since that first game - like my dad and his dad before him. When I was seven I used to bunk over the fence at Selhurst with my brother for a kick around - we'd climb up the pylons sometimes. And as an adult I've poured money into it because I still love it. All that and I - like fans across the country - am not a 'football person'.

When I first became a chairman five years ago I told myself I'd be a businessman Monday to Friday, and a fan on Saturday. I wasn't going to be starry eyed and give myself away or shout my mouth off - I'd be driven by success, but be calculating in how to achieve it. The first problem with that is that any calculating businessman putting this many millions into a football club would be a bloody lunatic. The second was that, as a fan, there's no point trying to keep a lid on your emotions. So I've found a halfway house, and achieved a balance. I take rational decisions, but they're driven by passion for the club. If Charlton fans upset me I'll say so. If I think we'll win the title, I'll big up my team. If we score at an away match I'll jump out of my chair and scream. I don't see why being a chairman needs to mean being a stiff in a suit.

But more than that, being a fan is actively positive for running a club, not something to be shy about. Look at Steve Gibson at Middlesbrough and Delia at Norwich - she's a fantastic, engaging woman, the board and staff at Norwich are the loveliest people you'll meet in football, and they're a brilliant club. And all of us share a motivation. We believe in what we're doing and recognise how important a successful club is to a community. When you see how it influences young people, the power that it has over them, that's when you feel the responsibility. And, if your decisions are motivated by that, the game can progress.

If they're not, it won't. There are two types of non-fan people in today's boardrooms: the really average businessmen - with respect to Peter Kenyon, a five-year-old could go into a room with Vodafone and come out with a big sponsorship for a brand like Man United or Chelsea - and the actively inert - people who'll do anything, say anything, to preserve the status quo. They love their FA blazers, their hospitality, their salaries, and they're so quiet because they're afraid to make enemies or alienate themselves. But why? What for? It's worth reminding them of the biggest truth among football businessmen: nobody helps nobody for nothing.

Twelve months ago I said I was considering getting out of football because the frustrations of the industry and the people in it were getting too much. And now? People like the Charlton fans, agents, Fashanu and the rest - well, they've got me going again. I still don't want to be in football for ever, and if someone comes along who I feel can run the club better I'll happily go back to where I came from: watching games in the stands with my dad. But for now, the desire to fight what's wrong in our system and to fulfil my ambitions for Palace's Premiership future in a new or improved stadium is strong.

I'd like to think that when the time does come to step down, the fans will welcome me back to the stands. There'll always be some who don't like me - even if I built a 50,000 seat stadium and bought Ronaldinho there'd still be complaints about crap hot dogs. But most have been brilliant to me, and I hope a few are even quite proud of me - proud they have one of their own representing their views in the game, and proud it's someone who has the bottle to be contrary, because that's what the game needs. They're the real 'football people' - and for as long as I'm part of it I'll be a real football person too.

Oh yeah, this is funny too - Jordan giving to Charity Simon Jordan's fee for his Observer articles will be given to the Christopher's Children's Hospice, Guildford, Surrey

Jordan, I think this picture applies to you big time you knob!